Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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