You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
