And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
