i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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