i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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