no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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