Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
