it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my liver is dry heaving
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
