Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
