Porn is love you can see.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
