her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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