You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
