marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
