The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
