Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize