Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
