whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
