It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
