woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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