K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
