hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Green mimosas i think yes
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
