I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Randomize
