He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There's even glitter on my cock...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
