If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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