Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
