i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
