we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
