Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
