I forgot how hot balto sounded
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
