He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
