I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Life is so much better after having sex.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
