while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
