it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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