I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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