Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
