i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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