Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
