everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Everclear isn't food dammit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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