Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
