first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
