People in love make me want to vomit
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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