you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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