that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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