the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
