Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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