just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
