Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
