My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
