It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
