quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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