we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
All the doctor said was why
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
