you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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