two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
