im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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