I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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