I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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