apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
