Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
