She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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