the new term for farting is butt boxing.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
