you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
