so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
